Without Belonging: One vow changed everything. A haunting journey through disconnection, quiet suffering, and the search for meaning in a borrowed life.
A Life Lived Without Belonging
She never belonged. Not in her home, not in her skin, not even in her own name. From as early as she could remember, there was a distance—like a wall of glass between her and the world, and sometimes between her and herself. At nine, or maybe ten—what does it matter—she looked up at the stars, the sky, the whole unbearable weight of the universe and whispered, “My body is yours. Do what you want.” It wasn’t prayer. It wasn’t surrender. It was a quiet knowing. She didn’t feel at home in her body, so she offered it up to whatever force would take it. It felt right at the time. It felt like letting go.
She didn’t know what she was giving away.
Because from that moment, life changed—not outwardly, not at once. But inside, something broke open. And the pieces never quite fit again. The universe, in whatever form it takes, rewrote her story with shadows and struggle. The kind of pain that didn’t bleed, the kind that didn’t leave bruises—but burned from the inside out. Silent. Invisible.
She grew up. She smiled when she was supposed to. She laughed when it was expected. But everything felt like acting. Her mind, her heart, her hands—they all moved through life as if following someone else’s choreography. She cared, deeply even. She felt every injustice in the world like it was carved into her bones. But she never really loved. Not with that soul-consuming fire people talk about. Not with ease. Love always hovered at the edge of her grasp, then disappeared the moment she reached for it.
She finished her studies—worked hard, harder than most. But the degree didn’t lead to the job it promised. And the job she took wasn’t the life she imagined. Everything was offbeat, off-track. Still, she pushed. Pushed until the effort itself became its own kind of suffering. Gave more than anyone asked. Gave 200%, maybe more, and yet nothing came back. Not success. Not recognition. Not peace.
She lived without belonging.
At night, in the quiet, a voice would return. Faint, familiar, like a memory from a dream: “Your body is mine. You gave it to me. I choose pain. I choose silence. I choose to carve emptiness into your bones, because no one else can carry it.”
She stopped reaching out to people. She didn’t want to explain. She didn’t want to be seen. She lived like a mystery even to herself—drifting through conversations, avoiding attachments. Her voice was mostly for herself. She talked alone, late into the night. Sometimes, her own words frightened her. She thought, maybe I’m going crazy. Maybe this was schizophrenia. Or bipolar disorder. Something had to explain this weight.
But even then, something in her mind said gently, You are sane. This is just the life you chose to surrender.
Time passed. Mountains collapsed inside her, and not a soul noticed. Outside, everything looked the same.
She tried to love again. It didn’t stay. Marriage? That, too, faded like smoke through fingers. She stood in the ruins of what was supposed to be a life—career burned out, relationships like ash, hope a vague memory. Working jobs that drained her spirit, irrelevant to the dreams she once had. Everything felt like a contradiction she couldn’t escape.
And then, in the dark, the voice came again. “This is my life. You gave it to me long ago.”
She didn’t scream. She didn’t cry. There was no fight left in her.
Just one question remained, echoing through the hollow halls of her being: What was she living?
Not a life. Not really.
But something else.
A vow she didn’t understand.
A story rewritten by a force she couldn’t name.
A borrowed body moving through a world that never felt like home, living without belonging.
The End of: Without Belonging.
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Author Payal Dedhia independently publishes books on Amazon Kindle. You can check out her collection by clicking here.
If you like Dark Romance Fiction, do read my Scintilla Series. Click here to read.
Aayansh Ahluwalia isn’t just a billionaire business tycoon—he’s the kind of man who haunts people’s nightmares. The world may recognize Scintilla Corporations as a legitimate empire, but Aayansh isn’t confined to the light. In the shadows, he commands an empire of fear, power, and blood. He rules over the underdogs, the darkness that terrifies everyone else.
Ruthless and untouchable, they call him a devil for a reason—he doesn’t flinch, doesn’t hesitate, doesn’t blink when it comes to taking lives.
His existence is fearless. His power, unmatched. Yet beneath the wealth and carnage lies a void—a darkness so complete it consumes him. There’s no light, no hope. Just emptiness stretching endlessly, leaving him hollow.
Then, one night, everything changed.
He saw her—a woman so radiant, so full of life, she made his chaos stand still. She erupted into his world like a dream, settling in his heart and claiming it as her own.
Tisha Chopra.
Aayansh hadn’t been searching for her, hadn’t asked for her. But the moment he saw her, he knew—she would be his.
She didn’t belong in his world, and that only made him want her more. Her laughter, her light—it wasn’t meant to survive the darkness he thrived in, yet it pulled him in, unrelenting. Like a predator to prey, he followed. He didn’t want her to save him. No. He wanted to ruin her, piece by piece, until she belonged to him completely. He would drag her down, crown her queen in his Devil’s Paradise, and make her sit beside him on the devil’s throne while he ruled the world.What unfolds is a story steeped in obsession, control, and desire—a dangerous game where love is a battlefield, and submission comes at the cost of a soul.
Scintilla isn’t just the name of Aayansh’s empire; it’s the pulse of this saga—a place where power thrives and morality dies.
The series is divided into four phases:
🔥 The Chase – Where the predator finds his prey. Click here to read.
- The Beginning – A collision of worlds. A spark ignited.
- Unveiling Paradise – Her light tempts the darkness.
- The Masked Guy – Secrets wear masks. So do devils.
- Unleashing the Demons – Once awakened, there’s no turning back.
- The Winner – Victory tastes sweeter when claimed by force.
🔥 The Possession – Where obsession takes root. Click here to read.
- New Beginning – The chase ends. The real game begins.
- The Rules – Boundaries are set, only to be broken.
- Gilded Cage – Possession doesn’t feel like freedom.
- Unleashed Fury – When control falters, chaos reigns.
- Ensnared Hearts – Hearts trapped, souls scarred.
🔥 The Submission – Where surrender is demanded, not given. Click here to read.
- Her Resistance – Light fights back. Darkness pushes harder.
- Her Confession – Truths whispered in the dark.
- The Good Times – A fleeting calm before the storm.
- The Devil Struck – The predator strikes. The angel shatters.
- Angel’s Judgement – When love turns to reckoning.
🔥 The Reward – Where love and darkness collide, leaving nothing unscarred. Click here to read.
- The Storm – Chaos erupts, tearing apart the fragile ties of love and power.
- The Punishment – Sins are judged, debts are paid, and vengeance claims its due.
- Maalik – Sneak peek into Maurya Ahluwalia’s life
- The Aftermath – Amid the wreckage, the cost of darkness comes to light.
- Devastation – Another peek at Akhil and Inaaya’s life.
- The Dawn – Hope flickers, fragile and hesitant, in the ruins of despair.
The Arranged Marriage series is a collection of 5 books.
Book 1 – The First Meet (Read now)
Book 2: The Life Together (Read now)
Book 3 – The Surprises in Store (Read now)
Book 4 – The Everchanging Times (Read now)
Book 5: The Story of Us (Coming Soon)
The Unscripted Love Series is a collection of 10 books
Book 1 – Arjun’s Jenny (click to read)
Book 2 – Priti’s Rendezvous with Somesh (click to read)
Book 3 – Rana’s Vivacious Girlfriend (click to read)
Book 4 – Claire’s Dashing Raj (click to read)
Book 5 – My Rebirth (click to read)
Book 6 – My Family (click to read)
Book 7 – My Sister’s Wedding (click to read)
Book 8 – My Secret Love (click to read)
Book 9 – My Silent Romeo (click to read)
Book 10 – The Brunch (click to read)
